How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman?

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June 5, 2023 by Marjorie R. Rogers, MA (English), Certified Consultant

A man may feel regretful, guilty, ashamed, and even powerless when he hurts a woman. Inflicting emotional or physical pain on another person, especially someone you care for, can leave a lasting impact on the perpetrator’s mental and emotional health.

Men who hurt women may experience a range of emotions, including confusion and anger towards themselves, their actions and the victim. Even though hurting women is unacceptable and criminal, it is important to understand that men are not born with the skills to express their emotions in healthy ways.

This often creates a toxic and abusive dynamic, leading men to resort to violence. Understanding the root causes and addressing the underlying issues is essential to bring about real change.

How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman?


Understanding The Psychological Impact Of Causing Harm

Harming another person can have profound psychological consequences for the perpetrator, as well as the victim. No one is born a violent person; aggression is often learned from our environment or experiences. Understanding the psychological impact of causing harm may help some men recognize the impact of their behavior and change their actions.

A Man’S Emotions At The Moment Of Harm

At the moment of harm, a man may experience a range of emotions, including anger, fear, shame, and guilt. These emotions can be incredibly powerful and overwhelming, making it difficult to think rationally or consider the impact of their actions on others.

Here are some key points to bear in mind:

  • Men may feel a sense of entitlement or power when acting aggressively towards a woman.
  • Some men may also experience a sense of pleasure or thrill in behaving violently.
  • Men who have experienced trauma or abuse themselves may be more likely to harm others.

Why Some Men Continue To Harm Women

Unfortunately, some men continue to harm women despite the obvious consequences. Here are some potential reasons why:

  • They may lack insight into the impact of their behavior on others.
  • They may have a distorted sense of reality or view their actions as justified.
  • They may have a history of childhood trauma or abuse that has shaped their behavior.
  • They may lack healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress or emotions.
  • They may have been socialized to believe that aggression or violence is an acceptable way to assert dominance or control.

Regardless of the reason, it’s important to remember that domestic violence is never acceptable and that men who harm women must be held accountable for their actions.

The Consequences Of Hurting A Woman

It is well-known that hurting a woman has severe consequences, and men need to recognize the potential outcomes that come with it. Here are some of the consequences of hurting a woman that men should know:

Shame And Guilt

When a man hurts a woman, shame and guilt are the most common feelings that follow. These emotions stem from the realization that they have been responsible for someone else’s hurt and pain. Men who have a conscience and an empathetic nature recognize the negative impact of their actions.

Shame and guilt can lead to self-loathing and even depression.

• men experience guilt and shame when they hurt a woman.

• they feel remorseful for their mistakes and actions.

• these emotions can lead to anxiety and depression.

The Impact On The Relationship

The effects of hurting a woman can cause severe damage to the relationship. As trust is the basis of any healthy relationship, a man who hurts a woman significantly damages this foundation. It can ruin the relationship beyond repair. Here are some key points to consider:

• when a man hurts a woman, trust between them diminishes.

• the woman may choose to walk away from the relationship.

• the man can lose respect from others.

Impact On A Man’S Mental Health

Harming a woman doesn’t only impact the women but also causes a significant impact on a man’s mental wellbeing. Men who hurt women often experience different mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and ptsd. Here are the key points to consider:

• abusing a woman can have a severe impact on a man’s mental wellbeing.

• he may experience emotions like anxiety, depression, and ptsd.

• these mental health problems may affect other areas of his life.

It’s crucial for men to understand the implications of hurting a woman. Shame and guilt, relationship damage, and mental health issues are significant consequences that can negatively impact their lives. It’s important for men to treat women with respect and kindness to avoid these negative outcomes.

The Road To Recovery

Men who hurt women often struggle to come to terms with the damage they have caused. It takes courage and a willingness to change to transform from being an abuser into someone who fully understands the gravity of their actions.

The path to recovery is not easy, but it is worth it.

Accepting Responsibility For One’S Actions

Accepting responsibility is the first step in recovery. Men who hurt women must recognize their actions and take responsibility for them 100%.

Key points:

  • Acknowledging one’s actions and their impact on others
  • Understanding the problematic beliefs and behaviors that led to the abuse
  • Accepting that the abuse was harmful and caused trauma to the victim
  • Refraining from making excuses and taking full responsibility for the hurt caused

Moving Forward And Seeking Help

Once one accepts responsibility for their actions, the next step is to seek help and move forward toward becoming a better person.

Key points:

  • Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to address the underlying issues that led to the abusive behavior
  • Identifying triggers and developing strategies to cope with them in a non-abusive manner
  • Practice active listening to the victim’s needs and feelings without trying to defend or justify the actions
  • Understanding the importance of self-care, including exercise, meditation, and positive social connections, to cope with stress and anxiety

Recovery from hurting a woman requires sustained, honest effort. It takes time, patience, and a willingness to learn and grow. While the journey may be challenging, it is possible to overcome one’s past and find a path to redemption.

Frequently Asked Questions Of How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman?

How Does Hurting A Woman Affect A Man Emotionally?

Hurting a woman may leave a man feeling guilty, ashamed, and regretful. It can also damage his self-esteem.

Why Do Some Men Hurt The Women They Love?

Some men may hurt the women they love due to their own insecurities, past traumas, or a lack of emotional control.

Can A Man Who Hurts A Woman Change?

Yes, a man who hurts a woman can change, with self-awareness, therapy, and a willingness to address his behavior.

How Can A Woman Get Over Being Hurt By A Man?

A woman can get over being hurt by focusing on self-care, seeking support from loved ones, and therapy if necessary.

What Should A Woman Do If A Man Hurts Her?

A woman should prioritize her safety and seek help from friends, family, or a professional. She should also consider leaving the relationship.


As we conclude, it’s clear that hurting anyone, especially a woman, is not acceptable. Men may not always understand the extent of the damage they cause emotionally, mentally, and physically, but it’s crucial for them to empathize with women to reduce gender-based violence.

This is why it’s important to teach young boys from an early age to respect women and treat them with kindness. Hurt and pain change people, but it’s up to us to choose how we react to it. Society should give men opportunities to address their emotions and to heal, rather than pushing them to bury their feelings and causing more harm.

It’s time for us to have open and honest discussions about the issue of gender-based violence and work towards creating a safer and more tolerant world for everyone. Remember, every human being deserves to be treated with love and respect, regardless of their gender.

About Author (Marjorie R. Rogers)

The inspiring mum of 6 who dedicates her time to supporting others. While battling with her own demons she continues to be the voice for others unable to speak out. Mental illness almost destroyed her, yet here she is fighting back and teaching you all the things she has learned along the way. Get Started To Read …