Last Updated on June 20, 2025
Before they choose a college, help them understand the price tag.
The transition from high school to college is an exciting one, but it also comes with some of the biggest financial decisions your teen will make early in life. While campus visits and dorm room shopping tend to get all the attention, how much college really costs is a conversation that often gets overlooked.
We’re not just talking about tuition. We’re talking about the full picture: room and board, meal plans, transportation, daily expenses, and the long-term consequences of student loans. Most teens don’t fully grasp the weight of these costs until they’re already knee-deep in them. That’s why it’s so important to start having these conversations before they sign any paperwork or accept their first student loan.
Helping your child understand the cost of college empowers them with the knowledge they need to make smart, informed choices. By making the topic relatable and hands-on, you can set them up for financial confidence that extends well beyond graduation day.
Start With the Sticker Shock: What College Actually Costs
Before your teen registers for their freshman year, they first need to understand what they’re actually signing up for. Many students hear the word “college” and think in terms of vague numbers. But, the total cost of attendance is a far more complex and eye-opening figure.
The cost of attendance includes:
- Tuition and fees: The base cost for attending classes, which varies drastically between public vs. private schools and between in-state vs. out-of-state tuition.
- Room and board: Whether they’re in a dorm with a meal plan or renting an off-campus apartment, housing and food costs can often rival tuition.
- Textbooks and supplies: Course materials and technology add up fast. Many students spend $1,200+ annually just on books.
- Transportation: Flights home for breaks, local bus passes, gas, and parking permits all factor in.
- Personal expenses: Laundry, toiletries, clothing, coffee, and the occasional night out—these everyday items are easy to underestimate.
Here’s a general range of what a year of college can look like in the U.S.:
- Public, in-state university: About $28,000
- Public, out-of-state university: About $46,000
- Private university: About $57,000
Multiplied over four years, that’s anywhere from $100,000 to $250,000—a number that can be shocking for a teen who’s used to budgeting for sneakers and snacks. The key is to sit down and walk through these numbers together. Show them sample breakdowns from real schools they’re interested in. Look at financial aid calculators online. Ask them what surprises them. These conversations help shift college from an abstract future goal to a concrete financial milestone.
Even if your teen isn’t footing the entire bill themselves, understanding what’s being invested on their behalf can foster appreciation, financial literacy, and a stronger sense of ownership over their education.
Talk About Financial Aid Options
When kids hear “financial aid,” many assume it means free college or that they won’t have to worry about the money side of things. The reality is a bit more complicated and oftentimes a lot more disappointing if expectations aren’t set early.
Walk them through what financial aid really means and where the financial gaps may lie:
- Grants: Typically based on financial need, grants are a form of financial aid that don’t typically need to be repaid.
- Scholarships: Another form of funding that’s often merit-based or tied to specific achievements, organizations, or demographics. Some are one-time awards, while others renew annually.
- Work-study programs: These provide part-time campus jobs for students, allowing them to earn money toward their expenses, but the earnings are usually modest.
- Loans: These are borrowed funds that must be repaid. Depending on the loan type, some loans start accruing interest while they’re still in school.
Explore College Savings Vehicles
Once your child understands the cost of college and the limits of financial aid, it’s the perfect time to shift the conversation toward saving and how that can reduce the burden of student debt later on.
Start by exploring a couple of common savings tools to use to prepare for college.
529 College Savings Plan
A 529 plan is a tax-advantaged investment account designed specifically for education expenses. The money grows tax-free, and withdrawals aren’t taxed if used for qualified education expenses like tuition, room and board, books, and even some tech needs.
Anyone can contribute, and the earlier you start, the more time the money has to grow.
UGMA Accounts
UGMA accounts allow adults to gift money to a minor for any use that benefits them, including but not limited to college. Your kiddo might like this type of custodial account for its flexibility, but it’s important they understand:
- The money is managed by a parent or guardian, but it becomes theirs when they reach the age of majority (usually 18 or 21).
- They can use it for education, or anything else, like a car or travel.
- Unlike a 529, custodial accounts don’t offer tax advantages when used for education, but they do allow broader uses and may be a better fit for families who want flexibility.
Practice Budgeting and Planning
Talking about the cost of college is one thing—seeing and building a budget together takes the conversation to the next level.
Start with a simple exercise: build a mock college budget together. Use a spreadsheet or paper to map out the following categories:
- Tuition and fees
- Room and board (on-campus vs off-campus)
- Books and supplies
- Meal plan or groceries
- Transportation (car, gas, public transportation, flights home)
- Entertainment and personal expenses
- Emergency fund buffer
Let your teen research and input real numbers based on colleges they’re interested in. Have them compare multiple schools, including an in-state public school, a private university, and maybe even a community college. This gives them hands-on experience analyzing cost differences and learning how much more (or less) they may need to contribute or borrow depending on the route they choose.
This is also a great time to discuss part-time work and whether it could realistically fit into their schedule. They might find that working 10 hours a week in the student center helps cover books and groceries while giving them valuable job experience.
Connect College To Career ROI
Helping your teen understand that college is also an investment in their future earning potential is when the cost of college conversation really comes full circle. While passion and purpose are certainly important when choosing a major, understanding the return on investment (ROI) is equally critical when thousands of dollars are on the line.
Encourage your child to explore the average starting salaries for careers related to their intended major. Then, show them how to weigh these salaries against potential student loan debt. If they borrow $50,000 for a degree that leads to a $35,000 starting salary, that could be a heavy financial burden for years, especially when factoring in living expenses after graduation.
Share Real Stories and Lessons Learned
Sometimes the most effective way to help your teen understand the cost and value of college is through real stories, not just numbers and spreadsheets. Personal experiences, cautionary tales, and success stories can make abstract ideas feel tangible and relatable.
If you or your partner went to college, share what it cost and how you paid for it. Talk openly about:
- Whether you had or have student loans and how long it took or will take to pay them off
- What you wish you’d done differently
- How your major and career choice affected your income and satisfaction
- Any financial mistakes you made along the way
Even if you didn’t go to college, your perspective is valuable. Share how your career path developed, what challenges you faced, and what you’ve learned about money and decision-making since then. Teens appreciate authenticity more than perfection.
Helping your child understand the real cost of college is one of the most valuable lessons you can offer as they prepare for adulthood. They’ll learn that college is a milestone, yes, but it’s also a financial commitment with real-world implications. Give them the tools they need to succeed, not just warnings, and open the door to ongoing conversations where questions are welcome and exploration is encouraged.