September 14, 2022 by Marjorie R. Rogers, MA (English), Certified Consultant
It’s been years since I’ve seen or spoken to my mother, but I still can’t forgive her. I know that forgiveness is supposed to be a good thing, and it’s something that you’re supposed to do for yourself as much as for the other person, but I just can’t seem to do it. Maybe it’s because she hurt me so much, or maybe it’s because I’m just not ready yet.
Either way, the pain is still there and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
Why Young Woman Says She Can’t Forgive Her Mother
If you can’t forgive your mother, it may be because you feel like she has never forgiven you. Mothers can be hard to read and even harder to please. If you’re struggling to let go of anger and resentment towards your mother, here are a few things to consider:
1. Why do you want to forgive her? Is it for your own peace of mind or because you think it will improve your relationship? 2. What did she do that you can’t forgive?
Was it something small like always forgetting your birthday or something major like cheating on your father? 3. What would forgiving her mean for you? Would it mean letting go of the anger and hurt or would it mean trying to forget what happened altogether?
4. Are you ready to forgive her? Forgiving someone doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that takes time, effort, and patience.
If you’re not sure if you’re ready, ask yourself if you’re willing to put in the work required for forgiveness. 5. What role does forgiveness play in your life? Is forgiveness an important value for you or is it something that you’ve never really thought about before?
Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it can be incredibly rewarding both emotionally and spiritually.
Anger And Resentment Towards Mother
Anger and resentment towards mother is a very common feeling. Many people feel this way because they feel their mothers didn’t do enough for them when they were growing up. Maybe she wasn’t there emotionally or physically, or maybe she was too strict and demanding.
Whatever the reason, this anger can be very intense and destructive. If you find yourself feeling angry and resentful towards your mother, it’s important to try to understand where these feelings are coming from. Once you know why you’re feeling this way, you can start to work on letting go of the anger and resentment.
This won’t be easy, but it’s necessary if you want to have a healthy relationship with your mother – and with yourself.
How Can I Forgive My Mother?
It is often said that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. When you forgive someone, you are letting go of the anger, resentment and hurt that they have caused you. Forgiving your mother can be a difficult thing to do, but it is important to remember that she is human and imperfect just like everyone else.
There are many ways to forgive your mother. One way is to simply tell her that you forgive her. This can be done in person, over the phone or in a letter/email.
Another way to forgiveness is to let go of the anger and resentment you feel towards her. This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending it didn’t affect you; it just means moving on from the pain and hurt she caused. It is also important to understand why your mother did what she did.
If she was abusive, maybe she was abused herself as a child or suffered from some other trauma that led her to act out in this way. Understanding her backstory can help you see things from her perspective and have empathy for her, even if what she did was wrong. Forgiving your mother is not easy, but it can be one of the most freeing things you ever do.
It takes time, patience and practice but it will be worth it in the end when you no longer feel chained down by anger and resentment.
Why Do I Feel Resentment Towards My Mother?
It is perfectly normal to feel resentment towards your mother at some point in your life. After all, she is the one who gave birth to you and raised you, so it’s only natural that you would have some mixed feelings about her.
There are many reasons why you might start to feel resentful towards your mother.
Perhaps she was always critical of you and made you feel like you could never do anything right. Or maybe she was emotionally unavailable and never really seemed to be there for you when you needed her. Whatever the reason, it’s important to understand that your feelings are valid and that it’s OK to express them.
If you’re feeling resentful towards your mother, try to talk to her about it. Let her know how you’re feeling and why. It’s possible that she didn’t even realize how her actions were affecting you and she’ll be open to making things better.
If not, then at least you’ll have aired your grievances and will be able to move on with a clearer conscience.
How Do I Forgive My Mother for Abandoning Me?
It’s not easy to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply, especially if that person is a close relative. If your mother abandoned you, it’s likely that you feel a range of intense emotions, including anger, sadness, and betrayal. You may even feel like she doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.
But holding onto resentment and bitterness will only make you unhappy. It’s important to forgive your mother for abandoning you, not for her sake but for yours. Forgiveness can help you move on from the pain of the past and create a more positive future for yourself.
Here are some tips for forgiving your mother for abandoning you: 1. Acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to feel angry and hurt after being abandoned by your mother.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and express your emotions in a healthy way, such as through journaling or talking to a therapist. 2. Understand her reasons. Try to put yourself in your mother’s shoes and understand why she made the decision to leave.
Was she struggling with mental illness or addiction? Did she feel like she couldn’t provide for you? While her reasons don’t excuse her actions, they may help you empathize with her and see things from her perspective.
Should I Forgive My Toxic Mother?
It’s a difficult question to answer, and ultimately, only you can decide what’s best for you. If you’re struggling with whether or not to forgive your toxic mother, here are a few things to consider that may help you make your decision.
What does forgiveness mean to you?
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting what happened or absolving someone of responsibility for their actions. It’s often more about letting go of anger and resentment, and choosing to move on from the hurt. If forgiving your mother would allow you to do that, then it might be worth considering.
What are the benefits of forgiving? Again, this is something only you can answer. But if holding onto anger and bitterness is preventing you from living your best life, then forgiveness could be beneficial.
Forgiving can also lead to improved mental and physical health, as well as relationships with others. What are the risks of forgiving? There aren’t necessarily any risks associated with forgiving someone, but it’s important to be aware that it doesn’t guarantee they’ll change their behavior.
You might still be hurt by them even after forgiven them. And in some cases, people take advantage of those who’ve forgiven them in the past by continuing their toxic behavior. So if you do choose to forgive your mother, be sure to set boundaries moving forward and protect yourself from further harm.
It’s natural to want to hold onto anger and resentment towards someone who has hurt us, but it’s important to remember that holding onto that negativity is only hurting ourselves in the long run. If you’re struggling to forgive your mother for past hurts, try looking at the situation from her perspective and understanding why she may have acted the way she did. It’s also important to forgive yourself for any role you may have played in the situation.
Ultimately, forgiving your mother will help you move on and live a happier, healthier life.
About Author (Marjorie R. Rogers)
The inspiring mum of 6 who dedicates her time to supporting others. While battling with her own demons she continues to be the voice for others unable to speak out. Mental illness almost destroyed her, yet here she is fighting back and teaching you all the things she has learned along the way. Get Started To Read …