My Mom is Forcing Me to Do Things I Don’t Want To, And I’M 19, What Do I Do?

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If your mom is pressuring you at 19 to do things you don’t want to, have an open and honest conversation with her about how you’re feeling. Explain calmly and respectfully why you are uncomfortable with her requests.

It’s important to assert your feelings and boundaries while maintaining a respectful dialogue with your parent. Finding common ground and compromise may help improve the situation and ensure your voice is heard. Remember, it’s crucial to communicate honestly and effectively in such situations to maintain a healthy relationship with your mom while standing up for your autonomy and choices.

The Situation

If you’re feeling pressured by your mom to do things you don’t want to at 19, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings and concerns. You can try explaining calmly and respectfully why you don’t want to do those tasks and also suggest alternative solutions.

It’s important to listen to her perspective while asserting your own.

Feelings Of Resistance

It’s natural to feel a sense of resistance when faced with tasks or expectations that seemingly infringe on your independence and autonomy, particularly as a young adult. This resistance may stem from a desire to assert your individuality and make your own choices in life. However, it’s essential to approach this situation with understanding and empathy to navigate through it effectively.

Seeking Independence

As a 19-year-old, the quest for independence and the freedom to make your own decisions becomes increasingly important. It’s a pivotal time in your life when you’re transitioning into adulthood, and the need to assert your independence may be at the forefront of this situation. It’s crucial to find constructive ways to express your desire for autonomy while maintaining a respectful and open dialogue with your mom.

Communication Challenges

Communication challenges can arise when expressing conflicting viewpoints, particularly between parent and child. It’s imperative to approach these conversations with a mindset of understanding and respect. Effective communication plays a pivotal role in resolving conflicts and reaching a mutual understanding. Finding common ground and conveying your feelings assertively yet respectfully can help bridge the communication gap.

Open And Honest Conversation

In situations where your mom is pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do, having an open and honest conversation with her can pave the way for understanding and resolution.

Approaching Your Mom

When approaching your mom to discuss the things she is forcing you to do, ensure you maintain a calm and respectful demeanor.

Expressing Your Feelings

Make sure to express your feelings clearly and honestly, detailing why you are reluctant to comply with her demands.

Listening To Her Perspective

It is essential to listen to your mom’s perspective with an open mind, understanding her reasoning behind wanting you to do those specific tasks.

Exploring Alternatives

Feeling overwhelmed about your mom’s demands at 19? Explore alternatives calmly and respectfully by discussing your concerns with her, aiming for compromise and understanding. Effective communication can help find a solution that works for both parties.

Coming Prepared

Come prepared with alternative solutions when discussing with your mom about not wanting to do certain things.

Brainstorming With Your Mom

Brainstorm together with your mom to find middle-ground solutions that satisfy both parties.

Finding Compromises

Seek compromises that work for both you and your mom, showing willingness to find a solution together.

When your mom is pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do, it’s important to come prepared with alternatives. Brainstorming and finding compromises are key in navigating these situations.

Seeking Support

Dealing with a situation where your mom is forcing you to do things you don’t want to do can be extremely challenging, especially when you’re 19 and trying to assert your independence. In such circumstances, seeking support from various sources can help provide guidance and perspective, enabling you to navigate through this difficult phase of your life. Here are some ways you can seek support:

Talking To Friends Or Peers

One way to seek support is by talking to friends or peers who may have gone through similar experiences. Sharing your feelings and concerns with them can offer a sense of validation and help you realize that you’re not alone in facing such challenges. Additionally, their insights and advice can provide you with different perspectives on how to handle the situation.

Reaching Out To A Counselor

Reaching out to a counselor can provide a safe and confidential space to express your feelings and seek professional guidance. A counselor can help you explore strategies to cope with the pressure and can offer valuable advice on how to communicate effectively with your mom while asserting your wishes and boundaries.

Utilizing Helplines

Utilizing helplines that offer support for individuals facing familial challenges can be a valuable resource. Trained professionals on these helplines can provide you with support, advice, and resources to help you navigate the situation with your mom and make decisions that align with your well-being and personal autonomy.

Dealing With Overprotective Parents

If you’re 19 and feeling pressured by your mom to do things you don’t want to, have an honest conversation with her about your feelings and boundaries. Express your concerns respectfully and try to find a compromise that works for both of you.

Remember, it’s important to assert your independence while maintaining a respectful relationship with your parents.


It can be challenging when parents become overprotective, especially as you reach adulthood. Understanding why your mom is forcing you to do things you don’t want to do is crucial in finding a solution. Parents often have good intentions, such as wanting to keep you safe or guide you onto what they perceive as the right path. However, it’s important to recognize that as a 19-year-old, you have the right to make your own decisions and live a life authentic to yourself.

Negotiating Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries with your parents is essential in mitigating the conflicts arising from their overprotectiveness. Sit down with them and have an open conversation about your desire for more autonomy and independence. Express your feelings and concerns respectfully, highlighting the importance of making decisions that align with your values and aspirations. Remember that compromise is key, and finding common ground will help foster a healthier dynamic between you and your parents.

Gaining Independence

Gaining independence is a gradual process that involves proving to your parents that you are capable of making responsible choices. Show them that you have taken the time to think about your plans, even if you are uncertain about certain aspects. Demonstrate your willingness to take on more responsibilities and be proactive in showing them your competence. This may involve taking the lead in certain areas of your life, such as managing finances or pursuing your interests and passions.

Finding Forgiveness

Feeling pressured by a parent can be tough, especially at 19. It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your mom, expressing your concerns and reasons why certain things are difficult for you. Consider seeking advice from a professional to navigate this challenge and find a resolution that works for both of you.

Reflecting On Your Feelings

Being forced to do things you don’t want to be your mom can be extremely difficult, especially at the age of 19. It’s important to take some time to reflect on your feelings and understand why these situations make you feel resentful or upset. Reflecting on your emotions can help you gain clarity and decide how you want to address the issue with your mom.

The Power Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can help bring peace and harmony into your relationship with your mom. While it may seem challenging, forgiving your mom for forcing you to do things you don’t want to can set you free from the burden of anger and resentment. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning or accepting the behavior; instead, it’s about releasing the negative emotions and moving forward with healing.

Forgiveness allows you to let go of past hurts and create space for better communication and understanding with your mom. It can help mend the relationship and open the door to finding a resolution that works for both of you.

Moving Forward With Healing

Once you have reflected on your feelings and embraced the power of forgiveness, it’s time to move forward with healing and finding a solution. Here are some steps you can take:

  • Have an open and honest conversation with your mom about how you’re feeling. Approach the conversation calmly and respectfully, explaining why you don’t want to do the things she is asking you to do.
  • Listen to what your mom has to say and try to understand her perspective. Effective communication involves active listening and empathy.
  • Suggest alternatives to the activities she is forcing you to do. Show her that you have thought about the situation and are willing to compromise.
  • Seek help from a mediator or a trusted third party if the conversation becomes difficult or unproductive. They can provide guidance and support in finding a resolution.

Remember, finding forgiveness is a process that takes time and effort. It’s important to be patient with yourself and your mom as you work towards healing your relationship. By reflecting on your feelings, embracing forgiveness, and moving forward with healing, you can create a healthier and more harmonious dynamic with your mom.

Frequently Asked Questions

What To Do If Your Parents Are Forcing You To Do Something You Don’t Want To Do?

Discuss alternatives with your parents and be willing to compromise.

Can Your Mom Tell You What To Do At 19?

At 19, your mom can give you guidance and advice, but she can’t tell you what to do. Ultimately, you have the freedom to make your own decisions.

Is It OK for Your Parents To Force You To Do Something?

It’s not okay for your parents to force you to do anything. Discuss and find alternatives with them. If you feel uncomfortable, ask for help.

What To Do If Your Mom Is Pressuring You?

If your mom is pressuring you, communicate your concerns, suggest alternatives, and express your future aspirations. Listen and share your thoughts with her respectfully.

Why Is My Mom Forcing Me To Do Things I Don’t Want To At 19?

It’s common for parents to have expectations or concerns for their children, even when they reach adulthood. Understanding their reasons might help.


Feeling pressured by your mom can be difficult, but open communication and setting boundaries are key. It’s important to assert your independence and express your feelings respectfully. Try to find common ground and negotiate a compromise. Remember, your well-being is important, and seeking outside support can also be beneficial in navigating this challenging situation.

About Author (Marjorie R. Rogers)

The inspiring mum of 6 who dedicates her time to supporting others. While battling with her own demons she continues to be the voice for others unable to speak out. Mental illness almost destroyed her, yet here she is fighting back and teaching you all the things she has learned along the way. Get Started To Read …