8/21/2011

Kindergarten Anxiety


The countdown is on. There is about two weeks to go and then my baby big boy goes to Kindergarten!

I am suffering BIG time anxiety about him going to"Big Boy School" for the first time! (I bet you thought this post was about his anxiety and not mine. Nope, he's cool with it and has been telling me to "chill" about the issue for weeks now!) I just can not get over the fact that he is going to be leaving me for an entire day. My little five year old boy: traveling into the dark, cruel world- all day long and having to fend for himself- without MOM!

A few days ago I received my sons Kindergarten teacher's name in the mail. I stood there for five minutes before it hit me- this is actually going to happen. Instantly I broke into tears. How in the world am I going to be at the bus stop the morning of? I can't even open a piece of mail addressed "To the Parents/Guardians of:" without snots and tears smearing across my face!

My biggest fear actually doesn't stem entirely from school itself either. My son's elementary school houses children Kindergarten to grade six. That means that my 5 year old little boy will be on the school bus for over a half hour with children twice his age. I KNOW and REMEMBER exactly what happened on the school buss when I was in the sixth grade. If it isn't the fear that he will pick up on some foul language then it is the violence that may occur on the bus while he is there. Both are legit fears that I do not want him to experience just yet. More importantly, say he becomes a victim of a bully? Why don't I drive him to school then? Because I want him to learn independence. I want him to have the experience. I just am having a hard time with the reality that my little man is growing up.

16 days. 16 more days where we can enjoy his last moments of per-kindergarten"ness". Before he matures more and needs me less; before he chooses his friends over me; before we have to spend every evening doing homework, before he hops on the bus and drives straight to college. Okay, so I am going a tinsy-weensy bit over board- but holy cow the last 5 years have flown by!

So as the days edge near and my baby becomes a Kindergartener, I will cherish each free moment that we will have together. I will try to hold back tears and try very hard not to smoother him (well, not too much). For it will be a first time experience for both me as a parent and for him as well. I know he will do great, I wouldn't place your money on me though! I may not be able to hold it together.

I am not taking this whole "my first born is going to school thing well." Many have assured me that by the time my third child is ready to go I will be pushing him out of the door. Then what? Great, now I have anxiety over that- 4 years to go until that post!

Have you or are you going through the same experience right now- where your child is excited and you are the one suffering from anxiety? What's your story?


3 comments:

  1. Hi! This post made me think of my reactions/anxiety over my 22 months old toddler on her kindergarten stepping age, though there is lot of time for her to go to kindergarten.However, I made her cultivate a habit of greeting whomever she approaches, whether at home, function.., and offer them a seat. This is just to make herself feel comfortable with others rather than avoiding new faces.

    Big boy! come on rock the class :)

    Best wishes to you and your little big boy:)

    shivashailagni.blogspot.com

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  2. Your feelings are completely normal. I know. I had them too. My son started school last year. I fretted and worried and fretted some more. When the first day came, I didn't cry, but convinced myself to be excited for him. The bus HAS been an adventure. My son's friends were already on board when he clammored on and their seats were full. Some of the older neighborhood girls offered their seats, which not only made me smile when I heard, but surely eased my son's anxiety. Pretty soon, riding the bus was old hat for him and I worried a little less with each day. (Not to say I still don't worry because I'm practically a gold-medalist at it!) Your worries will soon be replaced, though, by the joy and excitement on your son's face and giddiness in his voice as he tells you about all his new experiences, friends, and lessons. Try to focus on the positive and remember, you're not alone. Every mom that sends her babies off to school has felt JUST like you do now.

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  3. Ok, having gone through the 1st week (and you know how much anxiety I had over it!) - it was heartbreaking but we ALL survived! My heart ached that 1st day and I shed MANY tears but I was also very PROUD of my big girl. Seeing how far she's come - it's a big deal & I was the biggest part of that! So take your tissues, shed your tears at the loss of your "baby" but then sit back and look in awe and wonder at your big boy & know that he is where he is because of you! Good Job Mama (&Daddy!)

    You know my number if you need to snivel and cry in my ear on the 1st day!! haha!

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Aimee ~Classified: Mom

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