The countdown is on. There is about two weeks to go and then my
I am suffering BIG time anxiety about him going to"Big Boy School" for the first time! (I bet you thought this post was about his anxiety and not mine. Nope, he's cool with it and has been telling me to "chill" about the issue for weeks now!) I just can not get over the fact that he is going to be leaving me for an entire day. My little five year old boy: traveling into the dark, cruel world- all day long and having to fend for himself- without MOM!
A few days ago I received my sons Kindergarten teacher's name in the mail. I stood there for five minutes before it hit me- this is actually going to happen. Instantly I broke into tears. How in the world am I going to be at the bus stop the morning of? I can't even open a piece of mail addressed "To the Parents/Guardians of:" without snots and tears smearing across my face!
My biggest fear actually doesn't stem entirely from school itself either. My son's elementary school houses children Kindergarten to grade six. That means that my 5 year old little boy will be on the school bus for over a half hour with children twice his age. I KNOW and REMEMBER exactly what happened on the school buss when I was in the sixth grade. If it isn't the fear that he will pick up on some foul language then it is the violence that may occur on the bus while he is there. Both are legit fears that I do not want him to experience just yet. More importantly, say he becomes a victim of a bully? Why don't I drive him to school then? Because I want him to learn independence. I want him to have the experience. I just am having a hard time with the reality that my little man is growing up.
16 days. 16 more days where we can enjoy his last moments of per-kindergarten"ness". Before he matures more and needs me less; before he chooses his friends over me; before we have to spend every evening doing homework, before he hops on the bus and drives straight to college. Okay, so I am going a tinsy-weensy bit over board- but holy cow the last 5 years have flown by!
So as the days edge near and my baby becomes a Kindergartener, I will cherish each free moment that we will have together. I will try to hold back tears and try very hard not to smoother him (well, not too much). For it will be a first time experience for both me as a parent and for him as well. I know he will do great, I wouldn't place your money on me though! I may not be able to hold it together.
I am not taking this whole "my first born is going to school thing well." Many have assured me that by the time my third child is ready to go I will be pushing him out of the door. Then what? Great, now I have anxiety over that- 4 years to go until that post!
Have you or are you going through the same experience right now- where your child is excited and you are the one suffering from anxiety? What's your story?